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I’m not the only person who sexualises this statement on the footlocker advertisement, surely…

we’ve all gone to parties for people we don’t like right? well rather than sitting around bored and angry and trying to steal beer and weed we found a few ways to make those kinds of parties more fun. this is the first..
when the opportunity presents itself go to the fridge of this arsehole and take out their margarine (don’t stress, butter works fine too). take a butter knife from their kitchen and with this and the margarine subtly head to the bathroom. remove margarine from container. slice off bottom of margarine. dispose of this into toilet – you won’t need it anymore. take a dump into the margarine container. place top of margarine back into container taking care not to expose the turd underneath. sneekishly place back in the fridge.
you won’t get to see results from your bastard actions but you can leave knowing in your heart that in a few days or weeks (margarine consumption dependent) they’ll get one of the most unpleasant surprises they have probably ever had…